k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
