covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
