there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
