awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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