I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
