My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
