I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
