I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
