Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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