he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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