oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
