I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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