but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
