Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
