The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
