I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
