If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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