Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
