Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
