I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
