keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize