Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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