if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
