and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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