How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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