roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nobody cheats on THIS.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
