Don't you send me to vm
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
