Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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