A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
