peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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