we're blogging at a bar
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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