I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize