she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
