you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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