I could make wine with my vomit
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
