The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
