so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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