I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize