I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
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