PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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