I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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