Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
