So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
