I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
