that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
