Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
