At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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