Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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