so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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