know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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