no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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