Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize