Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
