there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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