jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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