I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
