like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
