Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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