your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
