I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
