let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
