she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
