PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
